Unknown Lover
October 13, 2011
Hold my hand and
Feel in that, everything
Touch my lips and
Hear me say quiet things
Sit with me in the darkness, alone
Let me tell you that
I think you have a beautiful soul
My hands are chained and
It keeps me from everything
The world that hates us
The madness of their rage
Hide with me in the darkness, alone
In every moment hidden
We only lived a moment ago
~wbv
I Am A Worm
September 2, 2011
I’m a worm, a snake,
Living under the ground.
I’m tolerated,
Because I don’t make a sound.
Surface dwellers bask,
In the freedom they give,
To the ones who aren’t shackled,
By the lies they must live.
The darkness they love,
Those dwellers of the night,
In the shadow of truth,
Created by light…
Their hearts, lined in hate,
Full of love for their own,
While the wounds that they cause,
Will never be shown.
Because worms and snakes
Live under the ground.
They are tolerated,
Because they don’t make a sound.
So the wounds grow deeper,
The coffee grows stronger,
The happy surface dwellers,
Will gloat a little longer,
Living out their lives,
Never hearing a sound,
From the worms and the snakes,
Living under the ground.
~wbv
Mentor
March 12, 2009
You taught me
The best that you knew how
You brought me
Through difficult times
You advised me
To always follow God
But wanted me
To always follow you
When I was searching for spiritual truth
When I needed a friend
When I had reached the point of decision
At the time when I needed you most
You abandoned me
I shouldn’t be surprised
That you hurt me like you did
Because I had seen you hurt people
Over and over through the years
And was only oblivious to the impact
Because I was not the recipient
Of your hatred
But now I know you
And we are not friends
Though you fake a smile
And pretend to care for brief moments
Your follow through is non-existent
And your priorities are clear
You used the word “family”
You called me your son
I guess this “family” is defined by its limits
The limits of your patience
The limits of your love
The limits of mercy and what I once called “grace”
The limits of the tiny world you live in
And the limits of your willingness
To think outside of it
You are not my mentor
You are not my father
You are not my friend
You are not
You are not
You are not
While this may sound harsh
These are the things I needed to say
To the one who was once as close as a brother
But proved to me that only one kind of blood
Is capable of creating such a bond
That friendship has its limits
And religiously rooted “love” is extended
Only as far as it can maintain control
~wbv
Torn My Heart In Two
March 3, 2009
Why have you done this?
You have torn my heart in two
You are wicked and hurtful
Pain flows from your lips
Why must you divide me?
You have broken my spirit once more
You have ripped the soul from within me
And taken the only life I know
Why didn’t you protect me?
From the razor that cut through my being
From the pain of knowing separation
From the hurt caused by duality
You have broken me
You have stolen my peace
You have filled me with confusion and anger
You have torn my heart in two
~wbv
Random Negativity
February 28, 2009
I’m moody
I’m a cynic
I’m overly critical
sometimes
I think too much
I get anxious
I worry
and I overreact.
I’m morally relaxed
A liberal
I’m apt to throw out
ideas for which I can’t
find believable evidence.
I can be difficult
I like both
Freedom and control
I’m full of contradictions
I’m a walking paradox
And I like it this way.
I’m overly complex
And irritatingly simple
I anticipate sadness
and difficulty
I see them as covert positives
As fuel for
The fire of the soul
Having said that,
hardship scares the hell out of me
and while I know I benefit from it
Part of me
Still hates it.
I get mad for no reason
Happy for no reason
and sometimes want to be sad
for no reason at all.
I forget important things
about important people
and sometimes don’t pay
attention to what’s being said
I can be difficult to know
Though all I want is to be known
My lack of trust
Can make that difficult.
I’m skeptical of faith
Leery of experience
And doubtful of expression.
Sometimes I would rather listen
To the orchestra in my head
Than the melody now playing
And I spend the whole movie
Just waiting
For it to end.
I’m not as peaceful as I want to be
Not as focused as I want to be
Not as kind as I want to be
Not as loving as I want to be
Not as gentle as I want to be.
“There’s always room for improvement”
Is an understatement.
~wbv
You Would Hate Me
February 5, 2009
Here is the truth
What you don’t want to know
What I don’t want to think about
And what neither of us can seem
To acknowledge…
You would hate me
If you knew me.
Not because I’m particularly horrible
Or because you are particularly hateful
But because we have failed to love
For what we know and don’t know
Or maybe we have failed to love
For no reason at all.
So you would hate me
If you knew me.
If you knew me for everything I am and am not
The fairy tale would end
The dream would turn to nightmare
And the cottage you’ve built
On the field of greener grass
Would be ripped from it’s foundation
And destroyed.
Because you would hate me
If you knew me.
What I’m trying to say is
What you see is not what you get
And what you believe is not what is true
And what you love, is not what I am
And if you really knew me,
Surely you would hate me.
But you don’t really know me
So I guess I’ll consider myself loved.
~wbv
The Last Thing
January 20, 2009
What was that?
The last thing you said?
Did you mean it?
Was it from your rotten heart?
You know…
When you ripped my heart out
Straight from my chest
And stomped on it repeatedly
Even though I had already died
When you spit in my face
And screamed words of contempt
And laughed at my sorrow
And got pleasure from my pain
Your wickedness knows no bounds
You love to hurt people
You find fulfillment in torture
And solitude in the discomfort of others
And some are left
To live and die with your words
The last thing you said
That final statement
From the depths of your lifeless soul
~wbv
Forgotten
December 19, 2008
I’m talking to you
But you’re not listening
I’m speaking words
But you’re not hearing
I’m singing songs
But you can’t hear them
I’m dying inside
And you don’t seem to care
I’m looking for you,
But I can’t find you
My eyes are searching
But you are hidden away
I watch without resting
But you won’t be found
I’m dying inside
And you’re not here to notice.
I’m dreaming of you
But your essence eludes me
You are fresh on my mind
Yet I’ve forgotten your face
My heart is screaming
But my agony is useless
I’m dying inside,
And my soul has been forgotten.
~wbv
Pain Beneath
December 13, 2008
Hurting deeply, aching of love
Folded hands of intense longing
Heartache holds on for dear life
And misery won’t let go
Nobody sees what’s underneath
Not the clothes but the soul
For whichever would bring fewer sobs
From a heart that knows the pain beneath
The shadows speak of not being heard.
~wbv
Indifference
December 2, 2008
A complete lack of caring
Totally devoid of…
Wanting to know
Wanting to believe
Wanting to care
Wanting to see
Wanting to live
Wanting to die
Wanting to smile
Wanting to cry
Wanting to hold
Or just let go
Wanting to hide
Or wanting to show
Wanting to speak
Wanting to breathe
Wanting to give
Or a chance to receive
Wanting to touch
Wanting to hold
Wanting warmth
Or to stand in the cold
Wanting to love
Wanting to ha…
Never mind.
~wbv
