Mostly Poetry

To know that you are not alone
Yet remain caged by the bars of solitude

To know that there are others like you
But fail in every attempt to reach them

To know that you aren’t really that “different”
But find yourself ostracized for not being like others

To know that there is, somewhere, a perfect fit
But to feel like trying to find it is hopeless

To have the wisdom to know yourself
But not the ability to act on that knowledge

To be a rare soul of unimaginable beauty
And be mistaken for the scum of the earth

To see wonderfully natural possibilities
Yet to be branded as a freak of nature

This is the misfortune of rarity
And the shame of the wide gate

That those who are different enough to matter
And daring enough to show it

Are often snuffed out by those who fear change

~wbv

Please don’t hate me
I may not be everything you wanted
I may not be all that you hoped
There may not be enough of me
And sometimes, it may seem like
There is too much

Please don’t hate me
When I can’t deliver on promises (that you’ve made)
When I don’t measure up to your expectations
Or the expectations of others

When I am a mess
When I have no direction
When I seem like I am forever lost
Please don’t hate me
And don’t abandon me

Others may steal me
Or nearly destroy me
Tragedy can steal your
Ability to enjoy me
But don’t hate me

I may not last as long as others
And I may not be as plentiful as some
But I am yours, and can never belong
To anyone else

So don’t despise me
But embrace me
Don’t run from me
Just live me

(Your life)

~wbv

I am Superman
Watch me fly
I can do anything
I cannot be stopped
I am all things
To all people
At all times
I am Superman

Though I walk with a limp
And suffer much pain
And am conflicted
Torn

I am Superman
Watch me fly

Though I never really
Leave the ground
And some days
Not even my house

I am Superman
Watch me fly

I’ve never seen kryptonite
And I doubt it would kill me
I’m not as strong as I used to be
But I’ve never been that strong, it seems
My body is that of an old man
Yet I am Superman
Watch me fly

My bones definitely break
And bullets would probably kill me
I cannot see through things
Except the occasional window
And the only burning my eyes do
Is because of allergies
Or heartache

But what the hell…

I am Superman
Watch me fly.

~wbv

One of the most persistent and bothersome fears I have is that of loss. I don’t much care about material loss… it’s the loss of love and life that concerns me the most. I suppose it’s a human thing… even people that some might consider rigid and cold can be severely impacted by loss.

Every time my kids are sick, every time they have a “close call” of any kind… I have to fight to keep my mind from spiraling into a fit of anxiety.

When my wife and kids are out and about, I have a fairly constant fear in the back of my mind, reminding me of the possibility of a great a painful loss: what if they don’t make it home?

Then there is the big “C”. Cancer, that is. A few months ago I had what my doctor and I perceived as a “lump” checked out. It was nothing. However, in the 7 days or so of waiting to find out about my “nothing”, I was once again reminded of the ever lingering possibility of a horribly painful loss. It brought this struggle to the surface, and forced me once again to examine what is valuable and worthwhile in this life that is so full of uncertainties.

There is something that seems to help my heart whenever I feel this fear of loss tugging at me. It comforts me to remind myself that loss is part of being human. It comforts me to remember that every human being must endure great loss throughout life… regardless of their religious beliefs, social status, intelligence, or anything else. We are all susceptible.

Some losses are, of course, greater than others. Often it’s not until we are faced with the possibility (or reality) of a catastrophic loss that we are able to put our fears into perspective.

One thought I often come back to is that of the massive amounts of people who have faded away with dying civilizations throughout history. “Impermanence” sums up the feeling, when I consider the massive, advanced civilizations that once thrived and ruled the “world”, of which there are only faint echos of today. In those civilizations there were individuals with families, jobs, concerns, anxieties, fears… and still fulfillment, and happiness, and of course, love. Was their loss any less than mine? Of course not. Chances are it was greater.

Yet in spite of their loss, life did go on (for someone). And in spite of any loss that I may suffer, life itself will go on—even if it ends for me.

So I return to this understanding of just how impermanent “I” am, and how this same impermanence affects every single person I love and care for. When I work to accept this, I experience a strange comfort. It’s not like the possibility of loss goes way or anything. And the fear of loss is certainly alive and well. Still, somehow, just embracing the fact that I could lose everything—everyone—including “me” and my own life, my wife, my kids—everything… it somehow sets me free, allowing me to live in this moment rather than the next or the previous one. If loss is really as much of a possibility as it seems to be, then why not live (and love) while I still can? Live while the living is good. Love while the loving is good. You never know what loss may be lurking.

No matter what happens, no matter how painful, I know that any loss that this body survives is one that I am capable of enduring. Further, I know that from the greatest losses often come the greatest lessons, and even the greatest blessings. Every minute in which I still have awareness is a minute to be thankful for. I sincerely hope that I can learn to make the most of each minute.

~wbv

If you don’t speak your mind
Who will?
If you don’t share your heart
Who will?

If it needs to be said,
And you don’t say it,
Who will?

What you think will have impact
Has little indeed
The things you hold back
Mean little to the rest of the universe.

Life will go on with or without
Your words
So if you don’t say it
It’s your own loss.

I can jump up and down
And scream and shout and bang on walls
But there is little hope that you’ll hear
Because you’re apparently sleeping

But when you wake up
And come to your senses
If you don’t say it,
Who will?

Are you getting the point yet?
Do you see what I mean?

You keep hiding, holding, keeping
What we both know should be set free.
Your heart is your heart,
But your words should be spoken,
Let your thoughts be your own,
But say what you need to say, soon.

Because if you don’t say it,
Who will?

If you do say it, I’ll listen. I promise.
And I may even say something
In response.
Maybe.

~wbv

Every time I reach, I find the
Outer limits of my world, and while
Calling my heart from unknown places, you
Decode me, mending the riddled pieces of my being

Every time I search, it seems that
Underneath is the best place to look
Yet search as I may, you remain hidden

Violent storms roll by
Love entangles lovers
In dark places
On empty streets

Every cold night is made warm, but
Only when dreams are aplenty
When there are no dreams
No warmth, no comfort exists

You cannot be found
Outside of fantasy, past the
Portrait’s blurry background, you
Remain forever out of reach

~wbv