Mostly Poetry

Libanophorous
Odalisque
Ventricumbent
Exaugurate

Laurustinus
Adiapneustia
Sesquipedalian
Tristachyous
Salsuginous

~wbv

I would tell you
But you wouldn’t understand
I would show you
But you never really see
I would explain to you
But you learn only halfheartedly

I can see through your fake smile
I can see through your insincerity
I can see through your attempts to compensate
I can see that we have little left in common

Why can’t you learn?
I plead with you; you refuse to change.
Why won’t you just love me?
There is no point in even asking that question.

You have lied to yourself so long
That your fuzzy vision seems clear to you
And everything I see, everything I say,
Is filtered into your screwed up world
Where your selfish hatred taints every good thing

I would love to share my life with you
But you suck the life out of me as it is
I would love to give you wonderful things
But you are already overcome with greed
I want you to be a part of my life
But would rather live this life detached and alone
Than in the anxious discord that follows your every step

Little is asked but sincere love
But it seems even that is too much to ask

Many things I have wished I could share
And many times you have reminded me
That the breath would be better spent
Inhaling deadly fumes

Breathe in, Breathe out
And suddenly, I have fuzzy vision
And maybe I can see things your way
Though better to be high than desolate

For the sake of control, I abstain
And can see clearly
That for lack of the same control,
You are wasting away
Which you too could see clearly
If not for your fuzzy vision

~wbv

If I have these hours, this day,
And nothing more;
If tomorrow is to be snatched away
Before the sun turns the night sky pink

Will I spend this day here and now?
Will I remain as I am?
Will I withdraw into my bubble,
Or flee to distant places
Where my heart belongs?

Will I bother with worry?
Will I bother with anger?
Will I bother with sadness?
Will I meet desires or run from them?
Will I finally relax,
With nothing left to concern me?

Or will I finally stop asking questions
And accept my fate as final?
Or will I wrestle with fate to the end
And be as difficult as I always am?

If I should choose to live fully today,
To live every minute until I die,
What then would be big or small,
Sad or happy, difficult or easy?

So I hope to let go of this body
Before I lose it
And to let go of tomorrow
Since I don’t really have it
And to let go of every attachment
Removing any illusion of permanence
And to live today, be today, thrive today
And to save dying for tomorrow

Yet if I spend today, living in every way
As if there is no tomorrow,
The chances are,
That tomorrow I will wish
That I had planned a little better.

Oops.

~wbv

When nothing is left and
Reality stares you in the face
Can you handle it?
Will you hide from the inevitable? Will you
Run from the voices that are
Calling out your name?

Believe what you believe
But what’s real will forever linger
Hovering, waiting, watching

And so

I looked for comfort and found it
And still, it was taken away from me
I looked for security and found it
And still, it was taken away from me

I looked for love and found it
And it too was taken away from me
I looked with lust upon beauty
And it quickly escaped my grasp

I looked for power in anger
And it left when I found peace
And peace itself was fleeting
To be stolen, ripped away in an instant

I looked for knowledge in books
And started forgetting at page one
I looked for wisdom in religion
And found value for today, and nothing more

I also searched for God,
And depending on who you ask,
Even that can be lost

I looked for something reliable in this body
And am learning well, there is no such thing
I looked for a lasting thought
And quickly lost my concentration

Searching, looking, longing
For anything that cannot be lost
For something—anything—that cannot be taken away

If reality were based on permanence
Life would indeed be but a dream
And maybe it is

As I am not this life
I am not this body
And this life and body are not “me”
I am but a breath
That lasts for an undetermined moment
And even “I”, this, “me”, whatever that may be
Can, in any instant, be taken away.

~wbv